From startlingly ignorant PC questions to appaling displays of sexual confusion, people have some pretty strage problem--and the depth of their cluelessness is nowhere more evient than on the pages of Yahoo Answers.
God bless the Interner. Where else can you assume a fake identity, pose the most insane question imaginable--like "Why can't I see my reflection in the mirror on a television?--and then sit back and watch the answers pour in?
Crowd-source advice sites like Yahoo Answers have become a bit of a magnet for the maladjusted. Sure, there are plenty of averages Joes just looking for ordinary information. But among the site's many mundane queries, there a sea of jaw-droppingly dumb discussions guaranteed to amaze and entertain.
I spent some time surfing through Yahoo Answers to find the worst, and boy did i find it. The spelling, grammar, and punctuation are all as found in the original queries--because why put lipstick on a dodo?
So let's take a look at the vital questions of our time, as posted by some of the deepest thinkers out there, along with the best answers I could come out with...
1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do i get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his internet connection.
2. It's Caps Lock--Capisce?
HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions
3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my credit card so i put it in the cd rom and it got stuck, how do i get it out?? i tryed toothpics but lost them in the process?? also the drive is making noises"
Oh, that's normal. Your system is just waiting for you to pay the required $1 processing fee for scanning the card. Simply fold a greenback into a tiny square and insert it into any USB port.
4. Mousin' Around
"My mouse stop working every time i lift it up from the table why is this? this is not just OS. i have linux and vista both same thing so it's not drivers"
Yeah, no bug deal there, either: Insert your credit card into the CD-ROM drive and tell your computer--slowly and distinctly--that you need the AirMouse 3000 upgrade. You'll be good in no time.
5. Technical Difficulties
"I've been asked to write an application in my own handwritng...? is there any computer programme that will do this for m? they also want original ideas. do you know any?"
This reminds me of a letter to the editor I once read years ago: "Are there any undiscovered islands left in the world?" The response: "Not that we knows of"
6. It's All in the Detail
"i have an assignment about computer..What is unimportant details about computer?"
Wait a minute--does this assignment also require original ideas?
7. Unknown Nuptials
"Am i married in any state? i have been divorced?"
I'll take "questions asked after night in Vegas" for $500, Alex.
8. A Sticky Subject
"Where can i buy a really big jar or peanut butter?"
If this os from the same guy who asked the previous question, I'm getting concerned.
9. Fruit Frets
"I have ate two whole tangerines in about two hours what will happen to me?"
That will depends on whether you swallowed any seeds. If you did, be careful not to eat any dirt or drink any water for the next two weeks.
10. Fat Chance
"How do i become obese fast? I want to look good by the end of the year."
You can start by eating two tangerines in two hours. Then run around in circles until you figure out what "obese" means.
p/s: original article by JD Raphael
why so serious meh? they're just having fun there.. well, i am.. dont blame them (and me as well) ehehehhe :)
some insane question may come out in 'insane' category only. for instance polls and survey or malaysia (travel) category. they're not that insane in some serious category though.. :D
nice post btw..
i like number 4...he knows what OS and driver is but clueless on how mouse works....
ah, maybe he joking then